


The Anxiety Within

by TheShipper333



Category: Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Sickness, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-16 11:42:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 44
Words: 10,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10570593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShipper333/pseuds/TheShipper333
Summary: This will just be a story where people can put quotes or scenes that they want in the story in the comments. This will also be on Wattpad.





	1. Chapter 1

Hey, this is just to say hi. I love you all. Stay awesome.

 


	2. The Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just the beginning of a long adventure.

Anxiety POV

I was sitting on my bed, scrolling through tumblr when the headache started. I ignored it for a while before the pain became unbearable, and I screamed out. My walls may muffle the noise, but I'm sure someone heard it. I heard someone running and slamming the door open. Someone came over and took me in their arms before humming. My pain dimmed to an ache, and my screams dulled to sobs.

"Are you okay?" I heard from whoever was cradling me.

The voice sounded familiar. "Who are you?"

"It's me. Morality." That's why it sounded familiar.

"Dad." I whispered when my tremors were manageable once again.

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Put quotes or scenes that they want in the story in the comments. Thank you for reading!!! I love you all, and you are completely amazing. You can make it over any obstacle thrown at you. I believe in you. Forever and ever.


	3. Closed Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is happening? Who's fault is it?

Anxiety POV

He shushed as he cradled me closer, still humming. I could hear him call out to someone and tell them to see what was happening to Thomas. My eyes drooped as exhaustion took over my body. Soon I was asleep with dreams of a medication and everyone hating clouding my thoughts. I woke up, gasping with fingers threading through my hair. I opened my eyes enough to see Prince and Logic sitting at the end of my bed, having a conversation and Dad holding me.

"Dad." I gasped out as if my throat was being closed up.

I began to claw at my throat when I began to not be able to breathe.

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Please send prompts and quotes for me to use in this. Thank you for reading. I love you all, and you are all beautiful inside and out no matter what others tell you.


	4. From Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Anxiety.

Anxiety POV

This was a prompt by LukaLullaby. Thank you!!!!

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Hands grabbed mine to stop me from hurting myself anymore. Without a distraction, my head pounded and black clouded my vision. It got worse until I had to curl up with nausea sitting on the brink of being released.

I opened my mouth to tell them, but my throat began to burn and bile rose until it exploded out of my mouth onto the floor. I heard footsteps and rustling until there was a trashcan in front of me, which I puked in until I couldn't anymore. My throat was burning, my head was pounding, and my body felt like it was frozen. My stomach was just left with a sharp pain. I cried out in pain causing them all to talk to each other. Before I knew it, medicine was being shoved in my face, along with water and light food.

Before I could take it from them, I felt the pull that meant I was being summoned. When I got to the real world, I doubled over because of the pain. It intensified when I saw Thomas, reminding me of Harry Potter and Professor Quirrell. I began to feel tears streaming down my face as the pain became unbearable to the point that I was shaking and puking, along with screaming. I heard someone walk over. Thinking it was Dad, I made grabby motions like a child wanting to be picked up. I felt arms wrap around me, but it didn't feel the same.

I looked up to see Thomas holding me with Prince singing in the background. Thomas whispered in my ear that everything would be okay and that he was sorry. I fell asleep to that and the pain.

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Please give me prompts or quotes in the comments below. Thank you for reading!!!!!! I love you all. You are completely fantabulous no matter. Stay fantabulous!!!!!


	5. The Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas is guilty. Why?

Anxiety POV

My friend, Claire, gave me the MLK quote to use in this chapter.

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When I woke up again, I saw everyone looking at me in concern. I curled into myself and cried as the others tried to comfort me. Their whispers caressed my soul as they told me how amazing I was.

Dad finally got the courage to ask me about my dream that caused me so much pain earlier. I relayed it in as much detail as I could. I told them about the darkness that tried to drive out my own darkness and the hatred that tried to drive out my hatred for myself. I told them how it was trying to drive it out to replace it with something worse. I told them about the medications, which made Thomas look guilty. When I was finished, Thomas was crying and telling me how sorry he was. As Thomas broke down, Logic told me, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

I looked up to him and gave him a small smile before turning back to Thomas. I asked him what he was talking about, and he just broke down crying.

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Please write some quotes or scenes you want in a chapter. Thank you for reading!!!! I love you all. You are unforgettable and irreplaceable. Stay awesome!!! I love you all!!!!!!!


	6. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth comes out.

Thank you bez_raznisty for the quote.

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I saw Logic, who looked uncomfortable, in the corner of the room. He was fidgeting and suddenly screamed, "I have to...iron...my cat!"

He sank down while grimacing, and I continued to calm Thomas down. I hummed and rubbed his back. His sobs subsided to hiccups, and I told him to call Logic back. Once Logic was back, I motioned to Thomas that he could begin. He told us about how he got medication to help his anxiety. He told us how he only wanted me to be less intense. I looked up into his eyes and saw the truth and tears making his eyes look misty. I pulled him back towards me because I knew that he didn't mean to hurt me.

I could still feel my stomach churning and my head pounding. It lessened to the point that I could think and maybe even eat. I pushed away my problems and hugged him until his sobs, that started once again, subsided completely and left him with red eyes. I ran my fingers through his hair, and he told me that he wasn't going to take the medication anymore. I looked up to see Dad clinging to Logic and Prince standing around awkwardly.   

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Please give me quotes or prompts to put in a chapter. Thank you for reading. I love you all!!!!!!! You are completely loved and perfect in every way. Stay fantabulous!!!!!! I love you all!!!!!!


	7. Q&A Announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just an announcement.

Hey, everyone!!!! I decided to do a Q&A. Put your questions in the comments. I will answer them to the best of my ability. I will let them build up for a few days and answer those. If I don't have any or like one, I will wait a few more days. If I don't get them all answered, I will make another chapter for it. This will not screw up me posting. Thank you!!!!! I love you all and stay awesome!!!!!!!


	8. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> READ!!!!!!!

I'm going to make this story into a comic but with my oc. If you have name suggestions, please comment them. Here is some information. They are panromantic and their pronouns are gender neutral. They are clumsy and naive. They are rash and will do anything for a friend. They always procrastinate but put their heart and soul into everything. They have really bad anxiety and mild depression(though it sometimes it gets really bad). Look on Wattpad for pictures.


	9. The Anxiety Within Comic: Part One

 

Hey everybody!!! This is the first part of the comic based off of this story. I have more drawn, but not inked or colored. Thank you for reading this and supporting me!!! It is also on Tapastic and Wattpad. Please give me name ideas in the comments. Information about them is in the previous chapter. Enjoy!!!

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Thank you!!!! I love you all!!!! I am working on the story, but my teachers decided to give me as many tests as possible. This means that my anxiety is high and I have more headaches. I hope you are all doing wonderfully. If not, it will get better eventually. Don't forget how spectacular you are. I love you all and stay awesome!!!!!


	10. Feeling Better...For Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anxiety gets better, but will it last?

Thank you, LukaLullaby for the prompt.

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I felt my eyes droop and arms wind around my waist, picking me up. I woke up with a start, not remembering everything and in my room, causing me to panic. I freaked out before remembering what had happened. As I calmed down, my stomach began to settle and my head stopped throbbing and my heart stopped pounding. I looked around to see a note from Dad and some base foods to keep my stomach settled. My stomach growled, so I started to eat the food slowly. Soon the taste settled, causing me to inhale the food for more of the heavenly taste. When I was finished, I felt my insides turning and shifting before stopping. I had let out a deep breath before standing up and walking to the door and opening.

When the door was fully ajar, I stepped out to hear Prince singing "A Whole New World", Dad telling a story to the kids, and Logic explaining why it isn't possible. I walked out and waited until someone notices me. Imaj was the first to acknowledge me by full out tackling me, which caused a chain reaction of everyone hugging me. It made me nervous, causing me to shake and whimper. I guessd that they noticed because next thing I knew was that they jumped back and were apologizing. It took me a few minutes to calm down, but when I did, I gave them a smirk. I told them that I was feeling much and thanked Dad, causing them to look at me in shock.

Dad smiled as wide as he possibly could and informed me, "Good because we have movie night! It's your turn to pick."

Multiple voices, including my own, yelled out, "Really?!" in disbelief.

"Yup!" Dad replied in his overly cheerful voice.

"Okay, then. If this is true, I pick _The Black Cauldron_." I announced, making the others groan out an "again?".

I went back to my room and changed into some simple black pajamas before scrolling through tumblr to pass time, waiting to be summoned. Suddenly my vision blacked and I was out in the real world with everyone surrounding the tv. I sat next to Princey, knowing that if I fell asleep, he would be fine with being used as a pillow. I saw the kids jumping around and Thomas bringing out food in the corner of my eyes. The food was put in front of everyone. I immediately knew this was a problem. After ten minutes of the movie playing, my eyes were completely glazed over and I just ate and ate until it was over. I didn't remember any of the movie when I was pulled out of my daze. The first thing I noticed was that most of the food, which was sitting in front of me, was gone. I froze and decided to play it off. I gave a forced smirk as we began to clean up. The kids were running around in a game of tag. My stomach began to hurt worse than before, but I held everything in until I was hit.

I ran to the bathroom. It all happened so fast. Imaj ran into me. I doubled over in pain. The only thing heard was my footsteps. When I got to the bathroom, I barely made it to the toilet before throwing everything up. I felt a hand rubbing my back and another holding my hair back. I could hear faint noises of Dad telling the kids to get heating pads and Tums. I must have zoned out again because I noticed that I was on the bed with my head in Dad's lap. I notice a warmth soaking into my stomach. I look down to see a heating pad and Logic holding out a dose of Tums. I take them quickly with a cringe at the taste and texture before falling back to the land of dreams, known as sleep, with Dad's fingers running through my hair.

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Please give me quotes or prompts to put in a chapter. Thank you for reading. I love you all!!!!!!! You are absolutely valid and fantabulous. Stay awesome!!!!!! I love you all!!!!!!


	11. Car Radios?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the heck is Princey and Logic arguing about?

Thank you Alfie for the prompt!!!

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I woke up to someone yelling, "That's like saying a radio is only in a car!"

I didn't understand what that was about, but I then heard Dad whisper-scream, "Knock it off. Anxiety is sleeping."

I decided to reply, "No, I'm not. And before you say it, they didn't wake me up."

Dad gave them a suspicious glance before fussing over me. As he was checking to make sure that I was fine, I was tackled by three children. At the same time, they all asked, "Are you okay!?"

I responded with a yes and asked Princey and Logic what they were debating about. They told me that it started about Prince singing too many Disney songs. I interrupted to agree that he sang too often before asking how the heck they got to a car radio. They responded that they didn't know, causing Pranks to say "Because they are idiots."

I laughed, causing everyone to look at me, and said, "Too true."

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Here is some artwork that I have been working on, causing me to take longer on this chapter. Also tell me in the comments if you want me to post art that I've done on my chapters.

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Please give me quotes or prompts to put in a chapter. Thank you for reading. I love you all!!!!!!! You are sooooo awesome and gorgeous inside and out. Stay amazing!!!!!! I love you all!!!!!!


	12. Author's Note~Names And Other Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some stuff!!!!

So, I've noticed that a lot of people have special names they call people who read or watch their stuff. This thought led me to think that I don't have anything for you group of people. To solve this, I decided to let you all give me suggestions in the comments. I will take however many are there within a week or so and put them in a hat. Whichever one I pick will be your peoples' name. Please pick something you would like to be called, meaning don't give me inappropriate suggestions.

Another thing is that I am going to make another story soon. I don't know what it will be called, but I do have a basic outline/prompt I came up with.

Also, I please send in questions for the Q&A and prompts. I would really like to answer some questions because it looks like fun.

Lastly, THANK YOU FOR SO MANY READS!!!! Honestly, it's so freakin' amazing!!!! I never expected it!!! You all are so amazing!!!!! I love you all!!!!! You are just so amazing!!!! Stay amazing!!!!! Love you!!!!!


	13. Sad Poem(Not Part of The Story)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a sad poem.

First of all, I want to address that Thomas Sanders, an absolutely amazing person, has a birthday to him. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM!!!

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I wrote a poem that I for some reason decided to share. I'm not seeking attention by the way. I just decided to share this. I'm hoping it help people realize that they aren't alone. It is called "Them".

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**Them**

I hear them

The voices scream

Everything is faded

Nothing is there

Where is everything?

I hear them

My body is on autopilot

My vision fades

Black and white surround me

Where are you?

I hear them

Everything is too loud

I wish it was quiet

They tell me things

Can you hear me?

I hear them

They criticize me

They tell me I am wrong

"You are ugly and stupid," they yell

Do you hear them?

I hear them

More voices scream

Water surrounds me

Then it is quiet

Where are they?!?

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Also I had a panic attack at like 7:50 this morning, so today hasn't been great. I should probably open up to people, but I'm working on it. Please give me suggestions for stuff, like names or prompts. Thank you. I love you all. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here. Just hang in there. You are worth it. Stay amazing!!! Love you!!!


	14. Reminder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a lonely reminder.

This is just a reminder that all name suggestions need to be in by Sunday. Thank you for the names already suggested. Please make sure that they are appropriate (meaning they don't have a bad word in them). Thank you!!! Also, don't forget that to send in a prompt or more. I love you all!!! You are the best people in the world!!! Stay fabulous!!! Love you!!!


	15. ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...

I just got banned for YouTube by my parents. I'm now crying. Those people made me laugh when I was sad and nothing else could. It helped me through so much and now it's gone because I'm "obsessed". I might not post for a while. This is going to be tough. Thank you all and love you. Stay strong throughout life even when it throws stones at you because you are strong. Love you.


	16. Name Reveal And Other Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some quick things.

Hey, my clueless morons. You guys are completely amazing. I picked out of the two names I was given and this was the winner, so you are officially my clueless morons. I love you all. So, I have gotten some support from you guys, and I just want to thank you. I'm just so tired from crying. I'm crying instead of crafting. My whole world is sort of just crashing down as depressing thoughts catch up with nothing to distract me. I guess, my luck has run out. I haven't talked to my mom unless it is completely necessary since what is dubbed "The Incident". It was just too much. Anyways, enough about me. In the comments, I want as many people as possible (meaning everyone comfortable) to just ask how everyone else is doing and if they aren't okay, give them encouragement. I want you all to brighten up their day. Go and tell people how everything will be okay because in the end, it will be. Below is a picture of Phil I drew yesterday.

 

I'm going to just update to check up on everyone, but there might be a story soon. If there is a story, it will be depressing, but that's okay right. Anyways, love you. Stay strong if there is something bad in your life because you are amazing and worth it, my clueless morons. I love you.


	17. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit to see.

Hey, guys. I'm just here to day that I am getting better (not fully but that won't happen for a long time). I'm here to tell you that I will be posting my argumentative research paper for transgender rights on Wattpad on Monday or Tuesday. Also this is a painting that I did with Acrylics. I've never used them and I definitely hope that I won't in the future.

Also below is a small part of the next chapter (it will be angst).

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I told them that I was going back to sleep and made my way to my room. I was so out of it that I didn't notice more darkness than usual encasing the hallway and a weird dark looking light streaming out from under my door. I collapsed on my bed as soon as I got to it.

–Dream–

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So I hope that you all are Satisfied (Hamilton reference). Thank you all. I love you all. You are valid and needed in this world. Keep being you. Love you.


	18. Insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a prompt I made.

Hey, my clueless morons. This is a prompt that I made myself. For part of it there won't be grammar and that is how it's supposed to be.

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I told them that I was going back to sleep and made my way to my room. I was so out of it that I didn't notice more darkness than usual encasing the hallway and a weird dark looking light streaming out from under my door. I collapsed on my bed as soon as I got to it.

–Dream–

'Walls. Blank. Black. No color. Just black. Only black. Never more. Never less. They left. They hurt. Hurt. Pain. Black. Pain. Blank. Hurt. Them. Door open.

"Are you functioning better?" voice screams.

Scream. Bad voice. Hurt. Pain. Black. Red. Black. Pain. Hurt. Them. Who is them? Them. Hurt. Pain. Black.

"I will take that as a negative." voice screams.

Scream. Bad voice. Hurt. Red. Pain. Hate. Anxiety. Anxiety? Lo–Hate. Pain. Leave. Leave me. Go. Away. Pain. Hurt. Red. Black. White. Black. Red. Blue. Purple. Black. Red. No. No. No! No! NO! NO!

"NO!" me scream.

"Is he any better?" voice two screams.

"No." voice screams.

"NO!" me scream.

"I wish he got better. I sort of miss him. It's slowly killing Thomas." voice three screams.

Screams. Bad voices. NO! Thomas. Thomas? Who? Thomas? Black. Pain. Hurt. Kill. Red. Fall. Red. Black. Walls. One. Two. Three. Four. Wall. Black. Red. Hurt. Pain.'

–End of Dream–

I sprang up, gasping for a breath.

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Thank you for reading. Give me feedback in the comments.Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how you are all doing. If any of you need anything, I'm here for you. You are spectacular beings. Love you all. Remember that you are completely loved and supported. Stay strong and amazing. Love you.


	19. It (AKA Anxiety's Thoughts And Doubts)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anxiety is overcome by his thoughts and doubts.

Hey, my clueless morons. This is a prompt that I made myself. For part of it there won't be grammar and that is how it's supposed to be.

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I looked around to see everything in place, except for my deck of cards. I looked closer to see that my Anxiolytic was also moved. I knew that it wasn't me because I would never be able to cope if I lost them. My cards were my way to cope. I wouldn't do that. Why are they moved? I didn't even notice the weird light that started to shine again. Blurred thoughts and pictures raced through my mind. They were put on a loop. They wouldn't stop racing. The same thing over and over.

"Stop. Stop. Stop! Stop! STOP! STOP!" I screamed out loud. My hands went to hold my head. They wouldn't stop.

Suddenly, everything cleared. I looked up. Everything was white.

_-Dream Flashback-_

_'Scream. Bad voice. Hurt. Red. Pain. Hate. Anxiety. Anxiety? Lo–Hate. Pain. Leave. Leave me. Go. Away. Pain. Hurt. Red. Black. White. Black. Red. Blue. Purple. Black. Red. No. No. No! No! NO! NO!'_

_-End of Dream Flashback-_

The white and screaming voice was replaced by black claws and a scratchy voice. "You are so stupid. They don't care. Why would they? I mean you are just so selfish and egotistical with you always hurting Thomas and never caring. You think that nothing will hurt you. You think you deserve their care. You think they care. You are wrong. They are just being polite until they find a way to get rid of you."

"W–who are you?" I asked, while trying to push my thoughts into the abyss.

"Who am I? Shouldn't you ask who you are? I'll answer you anyways? I am your thoughts personified. I am what makes you, well, you." it said.

I looked up to see a black blur.

"You wanna know a good idea?" it paused. "You should stop eating and sleeping."

"Why would I do that?"

"To die faster, of course. You obviously don't deserve to live."

"I don't know."

"Come on. You know you deserve it."

"Okay."

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Thank you for reading. Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how you are all doing. You are so strong. Love you all. Remember that you are valid and have people on your side. Stay awesome. Love you.


	20. About The Author

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was tagged on Wattpad.

I was tagged by LukaLullaby, so here are five things. These are going to be general things.

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1) I am panromantic. If you don't understand what the difference between romantic and sexuality, sexuality means that you want to have intercourse with the preferred gender(s) and romantic means that you want to date those preferred gender(s). If you don't know what pan is, it is where you like people for personality not gender.

2) I absolutely love Disney. I cry during them all, sometimes because it's sad (like The Fox And The Hound) or just because it's so amazing. My favorite princesses are Rapunzel, Tiana, Moana, Mulan, and Merida.

3) I love Hamilton. I talk to my friends in just Hamilton quotes sometimes. I also know the lyrics to all of the songs.

4) I have really bad anxiety and somewhat mild depression. It causes me to have headaches a lot.

5) I am someone who will always be there for a person no matter what. Just message me, and I will respond as soon as possible.

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I shall tag anyone who reads this (I had to edit this because I forgot to earlier).

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Here is something I drew not too long ago.

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This is just something that is important. I am going to be trying they/them pronouns because I feel like I will be more comfortable. I will also be taking exams for the next few days, so I might not post. I also have almost 1,000 views. This is amazing. I never expected for this to happen. Thank you everyone for reading. Please ask how everyone is in the comments. Anyways, I love you all. You are the best people a being can ask for. Stay smiling because you are gorgeous. Love you.


	21. 1,000 Reads Drawings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got 1,000 reads on Wattpad.

Hey, my clueless morons!!! I made it to 1,000 reads!!! Yay!!! If people make requests, I will draw something for anyone who makes a request and post them when I finish!!! Send in as many requests as you want!!! You are awesome!!! Love you all!!! Stay amazing!!! Love you!!!


	22. All Drawing Requests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here are the drawings.

This will just be all of the drawing requests that I get. Enjoy.

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Here is the first one, requested by [BBCanimefangirl](https://www.wattpad.com/user/BBCanimefangirl) 

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This is the drawing [rm01022003](https://www.wattpad.com/user/rm01022003) requested

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This was not requested but inspired by the amazing pastel drawings done by [AndChloeIsntHere](https://www.wattpad.com/user/AndChloeIsntHere) 

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Thank you!!! You are all so amazing and gorgeous, inside and out. Love you all!!! Stay you!!! Love you!!!


	23. I Was Tagged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here was a tag I did.

Hey, my clueless morons!!! I was tagged so here you go.

I was tagged by 

So here we go.

1) yup

2) idk

3) Nicole

4) single

5) ugleoracle

6) a few not gonna pick one

7) anything gay

8) my friend, Halie

9) Waving Through A Wwindow

10) 36%

11) my friends and I

12) I don't remember

13) it has passed

I tag anyone who reads this because I am not typing all those names on my phone.

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Thank you everyone for reading. Please ask how everyone is in the comments. Anyways, I love you all. You are so strong.  Stay smiling because you are amazing. Love you.


	24. Hey, My Clueless Morons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, you all.

Hey, my clueless morons. I'm sorry that I haven't written anything in a while. I actually just got some inspiration. Today was hard. There is this guy that everyone wants me to date but I don't like him like that. Today, I saw him, and he kept trying to put his arm around my waist or shoulders. He also stood as close as possible. Now this wouldn't be that bad if I hadn't moved away and told him "no" on multiple occasions. This gave me anxiety. The next paragraph will just be a description of that feeling.

People tell you to just stop worrying when you have anxiety, but it's not that simple. Anxiety is that crushing feeling that strangles you and forcing every scenario that could go wrong replay over and over again in your head. Anxiety is that dark shadow that looks over your shoulder making every decision seem like life or death and making it impossible to choose. It is that feeling in your brain telling you that maybe you should just give up. It is that feeling in your gut of dread that just won't go away. It is the feeling of not being safe, no matter what.

I actually wrote this, and it summed up my feelings. I decided to write something using this for my story. Here is a drawing that I made.

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Anyways, enough about my problems. I hope you are all having a wonderful day. Please comment to ask how everyone is and be there for each other. I love you all. You are so amazing that it blows my mind. Remember that we are all here for any of you who need us. Stay strong. Love you.


	25. The Blade... I'm So Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logic stops Anxiety from using it, but will that be all.

Hey, my clueless morons. This is a prompt that I made myself.

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"Stop hurting him. You make him look over his shoulder and make sure he second guesses himself. You don't help him. You are that dark being that makes everything life or death. You make him want to give up. You don't make him feel safe at all. Why don't you just die?" it said.

"Yeah, why don't I?" I agreed after weighing the pros and cons.

I decided that the best way to die was to just stab myself because if I drown myself, I might fight back.

I heard footsteps coming down the hallway at a rapid pace. I briefly wondered who they are before deciding that I don't care. 'Maybe they felt safer already and were going to celebrate. But maybe Thomas is in trouble. Stop it. You will hurt him. You're right.'

I heard someone call something out as I grab the blade. Just as I was going to jab it into my side, someone came in.

"Don't do it." It was Logic.

"Why not? All I do is hurt him."

"That's not true."

'Don't listen to him. Come on. Do it. You know you want to.'

"SHUT UP!"

"Sorry?"

"Not you. Me. My voice. It won't let me think."

"What about Dad? Or Roman? Or me?"

"Roman wouldn't care. Neither would you."

"Roman wants to be friends. I am your friend. And what about Dad? You are the closest to a son. We would all care. So would Thomas. He is so sorry for everything he has done."

"It's not his fault."

"He doesn't know that."

I let the blade clatter onto the floor and fell to my knees. "I'm so sorry."

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Here's a drawing for you all.

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Thank you for reading. Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how everyone is doing. You are so amazing. Love you all. Remember that you are loved and strong. Stay you. Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	26. Spiraling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anxiety spiraled.

Hey, my clueless morons. Sorry that I haven't updated in a while. This wasn't made from a prompt, but it fits.

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"I never meant for it to spiral. I never meant to hurt anyone. I thought I was helping but I just messed everything up. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I thought I was helping. I never meant to hurt you." I repeated as I fell to the floor, clutching my head.

My thoughts were spiraling out of control. All I could feel was the hurt. I was hurting. They were hurting. They took priority. Help them. Help them.

"Help them. You'll be fine. Help them. They are hurt. They are hurt. Help them." I repeated to myself until I could look up.

"You don't need to act strong." Logic said with the softest voice I have ever heard.

"But I need to. You are hurting. I will be fine. I can deal with it."

"You don't have to."

"Yes, I do."

"No, YOU DON'T! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD! YOU DON'T HAVE TO ACT STRONG!"

I flinched at the volume of his voice thinking he was going to hit me, like in some of my dreams. He began to pace before noticing my tears that began to pour out of my eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. It's okay."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Don't hurt me." I said, stuck in my mind. As I finish, the door busts open and arms wrap around me. I flinch away before relaxing because of the familiar feeling of a father figure.

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I have a question. If I did another request for drawings thing, would you be interested? Comment if you would or wouldn't.

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Thank you for reading. Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how everyone is doing. You are absolutely phenomenal. Love you all. Remember that you are so amazing. Stay awesome. Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	27. Drawing Requests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am just doing some drawing requests.

Hey, my clueless morons. I decided to do the drawing requests because I will be out of town a lot during the summer. So, just comment something that you want to be drawn, and I will draw it and post it. It might be a little bit before they are posted but they will be up as soon as possible. Thank you for reading. Don't forget to comment a prompt and/or drawing suggestion and comment to each other to see how everyone is doing. You are absolutely gorgeous, inside and out. Love you all. Remember that you are so fantabulous. Stay you. Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	28. The Drawings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here they are.

Hey, my clueless morons!!! This is where you can find the drawings.

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Here is the request from [rm01022003](https://www.wattpad.com/user/rm01022003) on wattpad.

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Thank you for reading. Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how everyone is doing. You are absolutely lovely. Love you all. Remember that you are awesome. Stay fabulous. Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	29. Warmth vs Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intense...ness...nesses.

Hey, my clueless morons. This wasn't made from a promp.

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My vision faded. Black is all I could see. It's the color of safety. I could feel warmth and love lashing out at the cold and hatred. I tried to curl into myself. The love was like a shield against my self-loathing. I wished that I just didn't exist. I felt warmth seeping into my thoughts.

I briefly wondered why there is warmth before remember that feeling of a father figure. Before passing out, I forced myself to say, "...D–ad."

I woke up to concerned faces looking down at me, causing me to flinch back and mumble that "I'm sorry". They tried to reassure me, but my inner demons wouldn't relinquish their hold on me.

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Here's something to brighten your day.

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Thank you for reading. Sorry that it's so short. Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how everyone is doing. You are lovely. Love you all. Remember that you are so outstanding. Stay you. Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	30. Q&A?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here you go.

Hey, my clueless morons. I am wondering if you would like to do a bit of a Q&A. Pleas comment yes or no. Yes for doing it and no for not doing it. If a few people want it I will post a new chapter to send in questions and the chapter after that is for the answers. You can still request drawings on the earlier chapter or message me if you want to talk or anything. Thank you for reading. Prompts can also be commented and talk to each other to see how everyone is doing. You are extraordinary. Love you all. Stay fabulous. Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	31. GET HYPED WITH QUESTIONS FOR THE Q&A!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready?!?!?!

Hey, my clueless morons. I decided to do the Q&A. Comment some questions below and answers will be in the next chapter next week but questions will still be taken afterwards.

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Here is me in many drawing styles.

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You can still request drawings on the earlier chapter or message me if you want to talk or anything. Thank you for reading. Prompts can also be commented and talk to each other to see how everyone is doing. You are loved. Love you all. Stay amazing. Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	32. Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here are some answers.

Hey, my clueless morons. Here are answers to the questions that were asked.

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From [rm01022003](https://www.wattpad.com/user/rm01022003):

What's your favorite meme–> Daniel HowellHow'd

How'd you find out about this fandom–> through the video on Paint's channel with Thomas Sanders

Half full or half empty–> depends, I kind of just think of the fact that there is substance

Spirit animal?–> either a wolf or lion

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Thank you for reading. You can still post questions to be answered. Please comment a prompt or drawing request or question. Comment to see how everyone is doing. You are so gorgeous. Love you all. Stay beautiful and strong. Love you.


	33. Message To Everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> READ THIS PLEASE

Hello!!! I am here to tell you that you are amazing. You are valid. I don't care what you've done, do, or will do because I love you for you. I don't care if you are straight, gay, lesbian, pan, bi, ace/aro, demi, or questioning because I love you for you. I don't care if you are cis male, cis female, trans female, trans male, non-binary, or any other gender you use to define yourself because I love you for you. You are perfect. You are you. Never forget that you have people who love you and care for you. If you kill yourself tonight, I want you to know how proud I am that you made it this far. If you have a panic attack, I want you to know that you have a place that you will never be made fun of.If you are bullied, I want you to know that the people who are bullying you don't know anything. They don't understand how awesome you are. If people tell you that you are ugly, stupid, etc., I want you to know that you aren't any of those things. You are beautiful and smart and absolutely amazing. If you have people pushing you down, I want you to hold your head high and know that you will always be stronger than them. If you have from gender dysphoria, I want you to know that your body does not define you. Technically, bodies don't have genders so you are what you decide. If you don't have a clue as to who you are, I want you to know that you don't have to know that at this very moment or ever. You are your own being. I know that I am just a random person, but I want you to know that even if everyone else is against you, I am here for you. If you need someone to talk to, you can contact me on Wattpad. I love you all so much. Stay you.


	34. Fading?

Hey, my clueless morons. This wasn't made from a prompt.

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 "I get it now. Don't worry. They showed me the truth. You are obviously better off without me. Thomas made that clear. Everyone, except Dad, has made it clear." I told the with my hands gripping my hair to help ground me.

"No! None of us want you gone. You might not be the best company–"

"Roman!" Dad scolded Roman.

"You are essential. Thomas needs you, whether I want to admit it or not. You keep him functioning correctly. Without you, he would be a mess." Roman told me, looking in my eyes to show that he wasn't lying.

"How do you know?" I asked it.

'I'm you of course.'

"Do You ReALly BeLIeVe ThaT?!"

'Of course. Don't you, since I'm you.'

"WHY ARE YOU LYING?"

'I'm not. Where did you even get that notion?'

"WHAT DO YOU GET OUT OF IT?"

'I get to die.'

"ME BREAKINg?" I scream, clutching at my throbbing head.

"He has just informed you–" Logic begins.

"STAY OUT OF MY HEAD! HE NEEDS ME! THEY NEED ME! JUST ACCEPT IT! WHY DON'T YOU GET IT?"

'You really believe that B.S. they tell you.'

"THEY TOLD ME SO! STOP LYING TO ME!"

'This would all be solved if you just kill yourself.'

"I WON'T DO IT! I DON'T CARE! I'M NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!" I cried as I curled into the smallest ball possible.

"Anx?" I could hear Dad's voice tell me.

"Virgil...my name's Virgil. It's the least I can do for my dad before I fade."

"You aren't going to fade. I ProMiSE! YOU CAN'T! I WON'T LET YOU!"

"It's okay, Dad. I love you all." I told them before everything faded to black.

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Here's something to brighten your day after that.

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Thank you for reading. Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how everyone is doing. You are all loved. Love you all. Remember that you are you, no matter what. Stay fantastic. Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	35. Pathetic

Hey, my clueless morons! This is going to be sad. It was decided to be full out angst now.  I'm making the chapter after this a part two, unless I make a chapter because I make it to 2,000 reads. Also, I made a song reference. Who ever finds it and tells me what it's from can get...a drawing or chapter dedicated to you.

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I saw Dad crying and screaming, Logan looking like someone just burnt all his books, Roman silently crying, and Thomas breaking down fully when I finally pried my eyes open. I watched them before trying to talk.

"D...dad." I barely spoke before all four turned their attention to me. "I...I'm sorry."

"It's okay, my little Virgil. It's okay. You are okay. RiGHt? Right." Dad told me in hysterics with tears still streaming down his face.

"...I guess so...but I just don't feel like I should stay alive any longer." I cried out, staring directly at Thomas.

"NO! I neED yOu! It wOuLD bE cOMPletELy awFUl wITHouT YOu!" Thomas yelled with as much sincerity as possible while yelling.

"But...I'm no good for you." I told him as I averted my eyes.

'Yeah. You're not good for him. I'm glad you realized it. Took you long enough.' It whispered.

"I realized it before this. I just hoped that I was wrong." My voice was robotic-like.

'Your first mistake was hoping.'

"Yeah, I know."

'Hope causes you to fail because you hope before realizing that it was all for nothing.'

"Hope is good."

'Do you really believe that?'

"YES!"

'You are pathetic! You really believe what they say! They just don't want to get in trouble. You don't deserve to live and they know it. They are telling you this to stay out of trouble. Look at their faces!'

I looked at their faces. Everything looked fake now. It was right. I should have known.

"I ShOUlD HaVE knOWn!" I yelled.

"Known what?" Dad asked.

"YOu DoN'T CArE!"

"Of course, we do."

"No, you don't."

"We care. I may not show it, but you aren't completely awful." Roman sounded...defeated?

'Yeah. They are definitely showing that they care.' It told me with sarcasm oozing out of its words.

"But it's better than usual. That shows that he cares...right?" I asked myself.

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Here's something to make you smile after that.

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Thank you for reading. Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how everyone is doing. You are all loved. Love you all. Remember that you are you, no matter what. Stay fantastic. Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	36. Caring?

Hello, my clueless morons! This is part two to Pathetic. If you haven't read that yet, read that before you read this. This technically isn't extra long, but it is longer than usual.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO [KittyKat8299](https://www.wattpad.com/user/KittyKat8299)!!!!! You are amazing!!!!! This chapter is dedicated to you as part of your birthday present!!!! I also drew this!!!!

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 'Sure.' it said with a heavy layer of sarcasm.

"Um...not to be rude or anything, but who are you talking to?" a voice brought me out of my thoughts.

"Um...no one." I tried to hide up the fact that I was technically talking to myself.

"Virgil." I could hear the impatience in Dad's voice.

"Really. It was no one."

"I don't believe that."

"Well, it's true."

"I will ground you if I have to."

"No, you won't."

"Yes, I will. If I get to three and you haven't told me, I will ground you for two...no, three whole months."

"You're bluffing."

"One"

"Really?"

"Two."

"Yeah, right. I don't believe you."

"Th–"

"Fine! I was talking to this voice in my head!"

"You didn't need to take that tone with me, but that you for the honesty."

"There is not a possibility for you to have a voice in your head, unless you are referring to your conscience." Logic told me with his stupid matter-of-fact voice.

"I don't know. It is just there, telling me facts that I miss." I responded to him with a shrug.

"That is not true, and you know it." Thomas interrupted.

"Why can't you just leave me be? Why do you insist on trying to change my mind? WHy Do YoU CArE?" I asked, gripping my hair and pulling as hard as possible.

I felt a hand gently pulling mine out of my hair. I looked up to see Roman staring at me with the softest look I've seen and a touch of concern in his gaze.

"Stop." Roman's voice was soft as if not to scare me, "Hurting yourself isn't the answer."

My mind takes only a moment to catch up before I scream, "HoW WoULd YoU KnOW?"

"Because I've been there. Whenever Thomas failed, I was pulled into a pit of depression. I learned how to control it after a while to the point that it's unnoticeable."

"Why didn't you tell us? We would have helped." Dad asked.

"It didn't matter. Anyways, that is in the past." Roman changed the subject back to me.

"It's fine, guys. I can't promise that I'll automatically get better, but I will work on it. Besides, I have you guys."

Dad, Thomas, and Roman awed, while Logic smile. Dad called us into a big group hug, which meant that Roman and I were stuck in the middle while clinging to each other. 'It's nice to know someone who went through the same thing as you.' I thought as I let myself just melt into the hug.

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Thank you for reading. Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how everyone is doing. You are astounding. Love you all. Stay awesome. Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	37. It's Going To Be Fine

Hello, my clueless morons! Here is the next chapter. My friend, [uglyoracle](https://www.wattpad.com/user/uglyoracle), gave me this prompt. Read the end because I need to know something from you.

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 It felt as if as soon as it started it was over, but I knew that couldn't be further from the truth. Once we all moved away from each other, I looked at everyone's faces and saw that their tears were dried but their eyes were still red and puffy. I smiled at them to try and prompt a smile out of them and got the brightest smile directed towards me since I was a child. That brought another onslaught of tears. I launched myself towards the person closest to me, which happened to be Roman.

He engulfed me in a hug, and I felt safe. I actually felt safe. For once in my life, I felt completely safe. I felt like I was a flower, picked by a little girl and protected. They picked me to bring into their family and gave me more protection than anyone else. No one could hurt me here because I had Roman to protect me. He would watch out for me, along with Logic, Dad, and Thomas. I looked up to see Roman looking down at me with a soft smile.

"You'll be fine now. We've got you." He told me as I looked around to see my family, the family that loves me as much as I love them.

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Thank you for reading. Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how everyone is doing. If you read, you might have seen the part about Virgil as a child. I was wondering if once this was done if you'd like me to make a prequel of sorts where he is a child. Just tell me in the comments. It might not be for a while, but I will at least know to do it. You are loved. Love you all. Stay you. Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	38. Defend and Offend

Hello, my clueless morons! Sorry that it's been a while. Life hasn't been so allowing for me to do much writing or drawing, but here is the next chapter. Read to the end for announcements.

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 My thoughts turned to what was going to happen. They seemed to genuinely care. They love me. Most of my life was filled with me wondering how to make them like me, and not that it's real, what should I do? How do I cope? Will they always like me or is it just for a little? My thoughts started becoming darker before I began thinking that I should just cherish it. I should make the best of it.

I tuned back in to Roman saying, "How is he so adorable?"

"What?" I asked because I didn't know who he was talking to.

"Nothing!" Roman shouted making me flinch.

Dad then smiled and told me, "Roman was just commenting on how adorable you look."

I could feel my face heat up as I ducked my head before Roman said, "I did not!"

"Then who were you talking about?"

"No one!"

"Defensive much?" I asked with a smirk to show that I was joking.

"Of course. I'm a prince. I also have to be offensive." He said, sounding proud.

"So, you offend people?" Dad asked.

"WHat? No! WhERe DiD You GEt tHaT IdEA?"

"Being offensive is offending someone." Logan pointed out with a smirk of his own.

"That's not what I meant and you know it!"

"Did we really though?"

"Virgil, they're being mean!" Roman whined.

"What am I supposed to do about it? You're the one who said it." I told him while trying not to laugh at the pout on his face.

His face grew offended and he said while dramatically swooning, " I'm hurt. I thought you loved me."

My face heated up and I nudged him with my shoulder, "That doesn't mean I'll do anything for you."

Then realization dawned on me that I just agreed to loving Princey.

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Thank you for reading. Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how everyone is doing. Also if anyone has a suggestion for a speedpaint for my YouTube channel, please comment that. Also, I still want to know if you guys want a prequel. If you do, I might ask if any of you want to collab for it. So tell me that also. You are valid. Love you all. Stay fantabulous. Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	39. A Confession?

Hello, my clueless morons! I'm going to start a new story soon, so I'm going to make a schedule that I'll try to keep as much as possible. The Anxiety Withing will be updated Tuesdays and Thursdays. The new story will be updated on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Saturdays and Sundays will be when I draw and will probably post it on one of the stories. Now onto the story.

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I buried my face in my hands and tried to cool down my face as Dad and Thomas began giggling. As soon as I calmed down enough to look at them, I noticed Princey's whole face was red. I began to let out a small giggle as his face darkened when he saw me looking at him. I saw Logan lean closer to him and say something that caused him to turn impossibly redder before he pulled away laughing.

"Logan!" Prince whined, "You didn't need to say that! What if he heard?"

"Huh?" I asked, causing him to freeze and look at me with a deer in the headlights look.

"Nothing!" he told me with his hands covering his face.

"I just told him that he should tell you about some certain feelings," Logan told me with a wine glass appearing in his hand with some sort of juice.

"What kind of feelings, Princey? You know you can tell me anything." I promised with what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Um...I maybe, kind of, like you. Just a bit though." Princey told me before disappearing with his usual flair just not there.

"Um...I guess I have to go think about this. Bye."

I sunk down with a thoughtful look covering my face as I made it to my room. 

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Thank you for reading. Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how everyone is doing. I still want to know if you guys want a prequel. If you do, I might ask if any of you want to collab for it. You are amazing. Love you all. Stay fabulous. Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	40. Collapse

Hello, my clueless morons! Sorry that this is late, but I fell asleep last night before I could post it and haven't had time until now. Also this story is 4,946 words and onto the 10th page on my document. I am also close to 3,000 reads, so expect a happy chapter for that soon. Yay!!!!!!Go check out my other story that I just started called "Mental Murder". Onto the story.

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 When I got to my room, I collapsed on my bed with my head buried in my hands. 'I never thought Princey liked me. I mean he always acted like he hated me. Now he told me he liked me. How is that even possible?' My thoughts seemed to be spiraling out of control. I didn't know what to do besides scream.

There was the sound of static as I screamed. I could feel myself shaking. 'What should I do? How should I respond? I don't understand.' My vision blurred and knocks broke through the static. I couldn't respond. My body felt like it was shutting down. I didn't even know what to do. It could be anyone. My body lurched forward as I began to dry heave. My hands pulled at my hair. I just needed something to ground to.

'Use pain. You know you want to.'

"No. I won't. NO! I woN'T! YoU CAn'T MakE ME!"

'Are you sure about that?' There was something in its voice that made me doubt myself.

I threw myself forward causing me to tumble off of the bed. I could hear shouts outside of my door, but I knew they couldn't get in. My room wouldn't let them because as of right now I am on lockdown. No one can get in nor leave. I am too much of a threat to them right now with my emotions on high.

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Thank you for reading. Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how everyone is doing. I still want to know if you guys want a prequel. If you do, I might ask if any of you want to collab for it. You are valid. Love you all. Stay extraordinary. Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	41. Blood

Hello, my clueless morons! This was going to be extra long(it's still longer than usual but not too much) but instead turned out to be extra angsty. So onto the story.

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 Everything was too much. It was all too little. It was just too everything. I couldn't concentrate on anything but the abyss growing inside me. Screams echoed throughout my head. I just can't. I...just...can't.

"Why? WhY? WHY? I dON't UnDeRStaND! WHY?" my voice came out as a raspy whisper, despite the fact that I was screaming.

I slowly pulled myself up to my knees as darkness began to recede. Everything came to focus when I looked up. My room was darker than usual, but I paid no mind to it. As I stood up fully, I could feel my whole body trembling.

I walked towards the bathroom where my razors were hidden. I took the one that was the least used and examined it. After sitting on the cold, hard floor and looking it over, I nodded and ran it down my arm. Pain was my only thought. It was a good thought though, so I continued making cuts on my arm. None of them were deep enough to break skin, but it felt so good. I didn't feel satisfied yet, so I actually cut the skin.

Blood trickled down my arm with a shine to it that kept me entranced. I wanted more of that. I wanted to see that red flowing down my arm. I looked so pretty, like art. I drew another line down my arm causing more red to cascade onto the floor. I kept at it until I had six new cuts to join the others. I promised myself that the seventh would be the last one. As I ran the blade across my arm, it had cut too deep. Too much blood was flowing. There was too much pain. The room gave up. It stopped keeping people out, causing them to rush into my room. I could hear them calling out to me frantically. 'Dad...Imaj...Logan...Thomas...he shouldn't be here...it's dangerous...Roman' They must have seen the bathroom door cracked open because they all rushed in and gasped at the sight of me.

I smiled at them and said, "It's okay now."

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Thank you for reading. Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how everyone is doing. I still want to know if you guys want a prequel. If you do, I might ask if any of you want to collab for it. You are loved. Love you all. Stay exceptional. Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	42. Speaking Aloud

Hello, my clueless morons! I'm back!!!!! I had to get my laptop fixed which took a few weeks, meaning I wasn't able to work on my story until today. This ended up being really depressing. Sooooo..... onto the story.

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 My eyes closed, and I could hear their anguished cries. I knew they were going to be fine; they had to be, otherwise this would be for nothing. I can't do that to them. I tried to look at them when one of them was cleaning the cuts and bandaging them. They shouldn't be helping me. They should just leave me alone.

"I'm not worth it."

Everything just stopped. The side bandaging me wasn't moving anymore and there wasn't anymore crying, so I looked up. They were staring at me. Logan was holding the wrap with pain reflected in his eyes. Suddenly everything started moving again, except Logan. Roman and Dad were sobbing out something about "how could I say something like that".

I turned my gaze towards Logan and asked, "What did I say?"

"Do you not know? You are the one who said the four words that metaphorically broke Patton's heart." Logan responded looking back at the cuts, which he began bandaging again.

"No. I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything" I told him with confusion running through my mind before muttering, "at least not out loud."

"Hmm. I believe your exact words were 'I'm not worth it.' if my memory serves me correctly."

"WhAT?" I jerked my body causing my arm to run across his fingernails, cutting open the fresh wounds and making them bleed more, "That's not possible."

"Why not? Because you said it in you head. Well, news flash! You didn't! ArE you tryINg to Hurt US? IS THAT YOUR GOAL?" Roman yelled with tears still streaming down his face.

"No! Never! I just thought you all would be better off without me here. All I do is drag you down."

"Why would you think that? We love you, kiddo! We are family!" Dad was trying to calm himself and Roman down, but I could tell it wasn't working.

"I've been told multiple times to just off myself!"

"By who? Because they are wrong. You are loved and wanted. Why CAn'T YOU JusT UNdeRSTANd?" Roman yelled as he tackled me in a hug.

"It did."

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Thank you for reading. Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how everyone is doing. I still want to know if you guys want a prequel. If you do, I might ask if any of you want to collab for it. You are strong. Love you all. Stay adorable(if you don't think you are adorable, you are and you are also gorgeous). Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	43. Confession

Hello, my clueless morons! I'm back!!!!! I had to get my laptop fixed which took a few weeks, meaning I wasn't able to work on my story until today. This ended up being really depressing. Sooooo..... onto the story.

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 My eyes closed, and I could hear their anguished cries. I knew they were going to be fine; they had to be, otherwise this would be for nothing. I can't do that to them. I tried to look at them when one of them was cleaning the cuts and bandaging them. They shouldn't be helping me. They should just leave me alone.

"I'm not worth it."

Everything just stopped. The side bandaging me wasn't moving anymore and there wasn't anymore crying, so I looked up. They were staring at me. Logan was holding the wrap with pain reflected in his eyes. Suddenly everything started moving again, except Logan. Roman and Dad were sobbing out something about "how could I say something like that".

I turned my gaze towards Logan and asked, "What did I say?"

"Do you not know? You are the one who said the four words that metaphorically broke Patton's heart." Logan responded looking back at the cuts, which he began bandaging again.

"No. I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything" I told him with confusion running through my mind before muttering, "at least not out loud."

"Hmm. I believe your exact words were 'I'm not worth it.' if my memory serves me correctly."

"WhAT?" I jerked my body causing my arm to run across his fingernails, cutting open the fresh wounds and making them bleed more, "That's not possible."

"Why not? Because you said it in you head. Well, news flash! You didn't! ArE you tryINg to Hurt US? IS THAT YOUR GOAL?" Roman yelled with tears still streaming down his face.

"No! Never! I just thought you all would be better off without me here. All I do is drag you down."

"Why would you think that? We love you, kiddo! We are family!" Dad was trying to calm himself and Roman down, but I could tell it wasn't working.

"I've been told multiple times to just off myself!"

"By who? Because they are wrong. You are loved and wanted. Why CAn'T YOU JusT UNdeRSTANd?" Roman yelled as he tackled me in a hug.

"It did."

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Thank you for reading. Don't forget to comment a prompt and comment to each other to see how everyone is doing. I still want to know if you guys want a prequel. If you do, I might ask if any of you want to collab for it. You are strong. Love you all. Stay adorable(if you don't think you are adorable, you are and you are also gorgeous). Hugs for everyone. Love you.


	44. Discord Server

Hey, my clueless morons!!!!! I made a dicord server for anyone. Below is the link, so join in.

https://discord.gg/rNSKWy7

Love you all!!!! You are valid and amazing. I love you!!!!! Stay cool!!!!! Hugs!!!!!


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